Drown me

Drown me
Lone wolf and cub

Drown me in time,

cause I'm too tired of fighting.

If rest is easier,

well that sounds inviting.

Drown me in time,

cause i'm ready to sleep.

Life is a struggle,

so bury me deep.

Drown me in time,

and let me dream.

My creeping smile

is exactly as it seems.

Cause I'm tired of going,

tired of tugging.

I'm tired of pushing

and fighting for nothing.

I am...

I am the second

rushing ever closer.

I see eternity

and it never grows older.

I am time

in all it's splendor.

I can't think of a single thing

I couldn't bring myself to remember.

Life,

and all it can be,

always and forever

all around me.

So drown me

in a sea of time.

I want all possibility's

to be mine.

forever and ever...

Impossibly heavy

Impossibly heavy

Carry the Zero- Built to spill

Under the pale moon

with the night still in youth

in a stuttered voice

he told her the truth.

Such was his choice

and his truth was blunt;

it hit like a bat, and because of that 

as a matter of fact

she had been cracked. 

But...

he couldn't have possibly known.

The pressure he built up

that had been driven home.

How now everything was somehow folly..,

His words arrows

fired in a volley.

Her world's been crushed 

because her love was heavy

and she can't support it herself

she's not ready.

The weight of her love is

Impossibly heavy.

But he couldn't have possibly known

because neither did she.

Her love's Impossibly heavy

and she's being crushed beneath.

Under the weight

of a love gone sour

under the weight

of her heart being devoured

under the weight

with no hope

faced with the impossibly heavy task 

of being alone...

A Millennial Love Story

A Millennial Love Story
Pogo- Forget

Each and every single day,
I get better at the games we play.

Content to sound out your body language
and able to interpret social strangeness.

Ready to quote a song if need be
or do something I saw on TV.

Able to be around when you need me
Or on Facebook where you can't see me.

Ready to love a computer screen away
and learn to text what I really want to say.

Being alone at a table for two
with both of us having phone business to do.

Swiping right in the hopes that you'll say
I'm worth a hello in some way.

Knowing the difference between whats sincere or material
and feeling the difference in whats real or ethereal.

I get better at the games we play
each and every single day.

Yet I still find myself wishing
that I wasn't so conditioned.

To be content with a text on the phone.

When I'd rather be with you alone...

The Pitter Patter of Silence

The Pitter Patter of Silence

In the vastness of all that is quite.
I feel the contradiction to the loudness and violence.
In the understanding of everything soft and still.
I am reminded the pitter patter of silence is real.

Spider Gwen

Spider Gwen

So it's been a long time since I posted anything that was not poetry, well I plan to start doing that again. I've been drawing more as of late and tonight I drew something that I consider to be half decent.

I started with a base sketch

Did the line art which was simple enough due to Gwens costume design

Did my Base colors then selected the whole thing and added a back ground color to keep the colors clean and give the lines a tint to them.

And of course this took the longest part. To summarize I copied the line art and dimmed it. I added a gradient over the first line art to give it that effect. Added the minor details and played with the hue before finishing. 

I mostly followed one of Chamba's tutorials but obviously I took my own liberties too. It's all in an effort to get better.

Fucked from the start.

Fucked from the start

A boy woke up from a dream

with tears in his eyes

his chest was pounding 

he couldn't understand why

In the dead of night he shook 

from the experience he had, had

sitting awake in his bed

both frighten and sad

he awoke from something wonderful

that caused him pain 

came from somewhere mysterious 

and was now in someplace tame 

he dreamed of love and loss

of life and death

beings close to his heart 

had suddenly left

now the boy sits alone 

without a dream to return

with only a pain in his chest

where his heart now burns

as he sits in his bed

unable to fight his feelings

the details of his dream 

are already fleeting

soon he will forget

and will become complacent 

and he's panicking 

because he can't take it

but that's life

its a moving river

that always seems to carry you 

to something bigger.

What was once important

tomorrow wont matter

and sometimes happy memories

will make you sadder

and no matter how tight you try 

to grab and hold on

your memories in life 

will fade as you move on.

the boy could finally sleep

but choose not to dream

if living means forgetting 

he didn't want to remember anything,

 

Please forgive me...

Please forgive me...

She sees me cold

it's crystal clear

she wants me very far from here.

She seen my heart

and now she knows 

just how deep my darkness goes.

My love is twisted 

and it's black

it's bound to give a heart attack.

She's so much safer

where she's at

and yet I walk to close the gap.

She starts to panic

yells "get back"

my pace is steady, right on track.

I approach her 

it's oh so clear

she feels unsafe when I am near.

But here I am

and come what may

I bring my evil here today.

I'm oh so sorry, ever so 

my love for you 

I can't control.

Please forgive me...

The Clouds Break

The Clouds Break

The clouds break

and in clear view

a brand new world

thats meant for you.

A place to start over

and maybe forget,

painful memories

and heavy regrets.

A utopia in focus

shiny and new

past the clouds

with birds flying through.

Someplace exciting

maybe close,

with very little worry

where you can make the most.

Something familiar

that you already know

a new place

that's warm like home.

like a place inside your mind

where you use to go

when times were peaceful

and you were alone.

A grandeur...

where clouds break and the sky is endless

where your happy

just to exist.

A happy place

where you are free

to be whom you were always

meant to be.

Still Sleeping...

Still Sleeping

I woke up in you

do you get it?

I was asleep until now

and I'll never forget it.

I woke up in you

and now I'm awake.

When we walk together

It's the first steps I'll take.

I woke up in you

and now its real.

I'm actually as light

as my heart makes me feel.

I'm awake now

do you see?

Or are you still

deep asleep

in me?

Ten

Ten

10 seconds before it falls

and the shock wave kills us all.

10 seconds to remember

what we did on earth together.

10 seconds left to be bold

I grab her hand and pull her close.

10 seconds to regret

every second not well spent.

10 seconds me and you

and the memories of things we wished to do.

10 seconds, just 10,

till I'll never see you again...

My Dream Girl

My Dream Girl
Deer hunter VHS Dream


Sometimes when I dream

I dream of a girl.

Shes very pretty,

when I sleep she enters my world,

my dream girl whispers to me,

each and every night.

and if I try hard enough

sometimes I can even hold her tight.

in my dreams she tells me,

we could be together.

But says I don't love her enough,

for us to last forever.

Now every time I wake,

I do so in pain.

I try to love her more

so we can be one in the same.

I do my best to believe in her,

put all my chips in one basket.

Each time I wake up without her

my life feels more tragic.

Lately when I dream

Shes further and further away.

The lights are getting dimer

my optimism starts to fade.

I often wonder if this is gods test

and I pray to whomever will listen.

"Please don't take her from me,

just name your condition."

She feels like all I have left

and I just so scared.

That one day I'll fall into a dream

and she won't be there.